Mom?

How did you do it, Mom?

How did you faced the confusion and sadness and bitterness adolescence had come to bring? How did you see possibilities in everything? When all that you'd known now you were unsure of? How come you stayed and didn't go away?

How did you become a good daughter? How can you survive with a single peso on your hand, hoping it would last for another day? How can you understand your parents' woes and fears every time you'd come back to the city and continued chasing your dreams? And how did you sacrificed those dreams of yours just to lessen the pain of sending you lots of money? Tell me because I want to be a good one too.

How did you stay in a relationship when it was hard to do so? How come you loved Dad that much even though he drinks and drinks each night, bringing us to tears? What did you see in him that I cannot see? How did you fall in love with this man that I see as someone who's nothing much? How can you see past his flaws and weaknesses that you chose to be with him until forever ends? How did you suppressed your angst and tears each time you fight? How did you fight your doubts during those moments you'd think you were hopeless? How come you never gave up on Dad?

How did you do it, Mom? I need to know. I beg you. Your daughter needs you now. She's struggling and crawling, air escapes from her lungs, unable to keep up with the world.

I need to know, Mom.
Please.
I need to know.